How Self-Sabotage is Holding You Back

 (and You Might Not Even Realize It)

Let's be honest: self-sabotage is sneaky. It often feels like a bigger, more obvious thing we should be noticing like when we procrastinate, ignore tasks that need to be done, or when we give up on our goals entirely. But the truth is, self-sabotage often shows up in much smaller, more subtle ways that can be just as damaging. And if you're like most of us, you may not even realize you're doing it until you’re deep in the cycle.

Here’s the thing about self-sabotage: it’s not always about doing big things that are destructive, but more about the small, everyday actions (or inactions) that pile up over time. These little habits add up, and before you know it, you're in a pattern that’s limiting your growth.

Here are some ways self-sabotage might be showing up in your life (and you might not even notice it):

1. Playing It Safe All the Time

We all love staying in our comfort zone. It's cozy, familiar, and feels "safe." But here's the catch: when you avoid taking risks, you’re also avoiding opportunities for growth. It’s easy to tell yourself that you're just being practical or cautious, but that "safe" approach can often keep you from stepping into the bigger, better things you deserve.

2. Overcommitting Yourself

We live in a world where saying "yes" feels like the right thing to do. Saying yes to work projects, social events, or helping others, it’s all about being a “good person” or “responsible adult.” But guess what? Overcommitting yourself can leave you drained, overwhelmed, and unproductive. Saying yes to everything is often a form of self-sabotage because it stretches you too thin and prevents you from focusing on what really matters.

3. Staying in Unhealthy Routines

Sometimes, we keep with the routines we have because we’re used to them or because they’re familiar. An unhealthy routine that drains your energy, not making changes can be a form of self-sabotage. We trick ourselves into thinking we can "handle it" or that things will get better on their own. But the longer we stay in these patterns, the more they chip away at our mental, emotional, and physical health.

4. Setting Unrealistic Expectations

Have you ever set a goal that was just... too much? Maybe you wanted to lose 20 pounds in a month or promised yourself you’d completely overhaul your routine in a week. When we set unrealistic goals, we're setting ourselves up for failure. These huge expectations leave us feeling discouraged and frustrated, which can lead us to abandon the goal altogether. It’s important to challenge ourselves, but there’s a difference between pushing your limits and setting yourself up for disappointment.

5. Chronic Overthinking

Overthinking may seem like something that’s just part of being human, but it can seriously hold you back. When you get stuck in the cycle of analyzing every possible outcome or second-guessing every decision, you’re procrastinating and delaying progress. It’s easy to think that overthinking is being thorough, but in reality, it’s a way of avoiding taking action.

So, What Do You Do About It?

The first step is to recognize that self-sabotage is happening. It's easy to blame outside circumstances for things not going the way you want, but often, we’re holding ourselves back.

Start by taking a step back and noticing where you're allowing these small, self-sabotaging habits to take root. Are you avoiding risks? Saying yes to everything?

Once you start noticing the patterns, you can begin to take control of your actions. Small changes like learning to say "no," (I know this is a hard one) setting realistic goals, can make all the difference. And trust me, recognizing these patterns is a game-changer when it comes to achieving your goals and living a life that feels more aligned with who you truly want to be.

It’s time to show up for yourself in the way you’ve always deserved.