Why Starting Tasks Feels Impossible (And What I Do About It)

You know that feeling when a task has been sitting on your to-do list for weeks and it somehow becomes scarier and heavier every day you don’t do it? Yeah, same. Whether it’s answering that email, making a doctor’s appointment, or starting a big project. I’ve found that the hardest part isn’t actually doing the thing. It’s starting it.

I used to think I was just lazy or bad at time management. I’ve realized that it’s deeper than that. It’s anxiety. It’s perfectionism. It’s overwhelm. It’s mental clutter. Sometimes, it’s just being so tired from being a functioning adult that my brain short-circuits when it sees one more checkbox.

So here’s what I’ve learned about why starting tasks feels impossible.

1. My brain loves to make things bigger than they are.

An email? Somehow turns into what if they hate me or this response has to be perfectly worded or it’s career suicide. A quick form? Suddenly I’ve convinced myself I need to gather 10 years of financial documents first. The task becomes a whole thing before I even open my laptop.

What helps: I’ve started asking myself, “What is the actual first step?” Like, literally just open the email. That’s it. Not respond, not solve the problem. JUST LOOK. This tiny shift helps me break the mental loop and take one small, non-threatening action.

2. I confuse procrastination with rest.

Sometimes I’ll scroll or binge Netflix thinking I’m “resting,” but I still feel stressed and twitchy. That’s because I’m not actually resting. I’m avoiding. And avoidance doesn’t let your nervous system exhale. It just makes your brain whisper louder and louder, “Still haven’t done the thing…”

What helps: I now try to ask myself, “Am I resting or avoiding?” If it’s avoidance, I gently tell myself, “Let’s just do five minutes and then you can come back to cozy mode.” Most of the time, starting for five minutes turns into finishing it. Not always, but enough that it feels doable.

3. I wait to feel like it. (Spoiler: I never do.)

There is no magical moment when I suddenly want to fold laundry or update my resume. The motivation fairy rarely visits. I used to think I had to wait for it, but honestly, it isn't going to happen. What I’ve realized is: action creates motivation. Not the other way around.

What helps: I set a vibe. I light a candle, put on a playlist that makes me feel like I’m in a coffee shop doing productive things, and romanticize it just enough to trick my brain. It sounds silly, but aesthetics matter sometimes.

4. I give myself too many options.

Should I do this first or that? Should I start the hard task or ease in with the easy one? Should I reorganize my entire closet first for some reason?? (This is real, I once color-coded my entire closet instead of replying to one email.)

What helps: I try not to let myself “decide” in the moment. Instead, I make a quick plan the night before or in the morning and just follow it like a GPS. Even if I don’t feel like doing the task I picked, I remind myself I chose it when my brain was calm and not in chaos mode.

5. I practice self-compassion like it’s a skill (because it is).

Shame never helped me start a task. All it ever did was make me feel like I was failing before I even began. So now I try really hard to not beat myself up for procrastinating. Instead, I talk to myself like I’d talk to a friend: “Hey, I know this feels like a lot. Let’s just start somewhere.”

What helps: I remind myself that starting is a win. Not finishing. Not crushing it. Starting. And that’s enough for today.

If you’re like me and you’ve ever stared at a simple task and thought, “Why does this feel impossible?”, just know you’re not broken. You’re not lazy. You’re human. Life is a lot. Brains are weird. And you’re doing the best you can.

Start with one small step. Then celebrate it.

You got this.

Want help breaking tasks down into something less terrifying? I’ve got some tools and journal prompts I use myself, schedule a therapy consultation today.

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